Times of India, 16 Sep 2002.


Kiran: Ray of hope for abused Indian women in US
NINA MARTYRIS

TIMES NEWS NETWORK[ MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 2002 10:55:26 PM ]

MUMBAI: They are little hubs of hope scattered throughout the USA, 
especially in cities that have a sizable Indian population. Twenty-five 
organisations with names like Asha, Manavi, Sakhi, Maitri, Sneha and Sahara, 
all committed to helping South Asian women trapped in situations of domestic 
violence.


Shivali Shah, co-founder of one such organisation, is in the city to 
research her book Marrying Into America: The H-4 Visa Bind, which looks at 
the peculiarly vulnerable situation of women who go to the US on a dependent 
visa and are highly vulnerable to abuse because they have neither 
immigrational nor financial independence.


Two years ago, Ms Shah, an intellectual property rights lawyer, along with 
five other professionals started Kiran, a domesticviolence prevention and 
crisis service for South Asian women in North Carolina.


After Silicon Valley, North Carolina has the highest concentration of 
hi-tech firms and therefore the second-highest concentration of Indians in 
the US. Ms Shah, who had previously worked with the New Yorkbased domestic 
violence support group Sakhi, was repeatedly approached by South Asian women 
in North Carolina facing situations of abuse at home.


Though Kiran doesn^Òt run a shelter, it has a helpline (in 16 Indian 
languages) that aims to provide ^Ñnon-judgmental and culturally sensitive^Ò 
counselling. Calls range from the minor (^ÑI need a baby-sitter^Ò) to the 
macabre (^ÑMy husband had repeatedly jabbed my arm with a pair of 
scissors,what should I do?^Ò).


The organisation also provides referrals to professional and community 
services regarding legal issues and health care.


The reasons for marital discord are the same as those in the ^Óhome 
country^Ò^Ò: dowry, jewellery, cooking, the raising of children, cultural 
mindsets.


^ÓThe value added to this baggage by the US is the isolation of the immigrant 
condition,^Ò^Ò says Ms Shah.


^ÓNot only are these women isolated by language, they are without relatives 
or friends, many are even terrified to take a bus. In such a foreign 
cultural setup, women feel disempowered. For the men, there is this huge 
pressure to do well and prove themselves^×and they vent this pressure on 
their wives.^Ò^Ò


Much of the abuse begins because the husband expects the wife not only to be 
the ^Óepitome of the traditional Indian housewife^Ò^Ò but a ladder-climbing 
careerist too. Worse,many women think that they should match their spouse^Òs 
expectations. It comes as no surprise therefore that sections of the Asian 
male community accuse Kiran of being a ^Óhome-breaker^Ò^Ò.


Far from being home-breakers, domestic-violence groups rarely tell victims 
to get up and leave. ^ÓThat^Òs the kind of advice one would give to a friend 
but as counsellors, we know that the woman is the best judge of the 
situation,^Ò^Ò says Ms Shah.


One of the statistics of domestic violence is that a woman will leave her 
husband seven times before she leaves finally.


The various kinds of abuse that Kiran tackles include verbal, emotional, 
sexual, financial, immigrational and finally physical abuse. One woman who 
was abused for eight years^×her husband twisted and broke her leg and almost 
all her fingers^×went to Sakhi only when he began to beat the kids.


^ÓIt^Òs very hard for Indian women to talk of abuse, there is always a strong 
element of shame,^Ò^Ò says Ms Shah.


^ÓThey use euphemisms to describe the abuse^×typically a woman would say, ^ÑHe 
pushed me^Ò instead of saying ^ÑHe pushed me down the stairs^Ò.^Ò^Ò


One of the biggest feathers in Kiran^Òs fledgling cap is the tracking down of 
the murderer of a young Florida student Deepa Agarwal, who was stabbed to 
death by her cousin Kamlesh Agarwal in July 1999.


Kamlesh (a Breach Candy boy), who had formed an attachment to his cousin, 
murdered her in a fit of rage, stuffed her body into a closet and fled back 
to India. Since both the US and Indian police didn^Òt seem interested in 
pursuing the case, Deepa^Òs sister Sheela approached Kiran.


For one year, the group campaigned^×and then, 48 hours after a vigil at the 
White House that was covered by the national press, Kamlesh was arrested by 
the Mumbai police. He now awaits trial before an extradition judge.


In a strange but special way, one source of light had come to the aid of the 
other^× Kiran getting justice for Deepa.


(For further details log on to www.kiraninc.org)