The South-Asian Woman's List of Good Resolutions

1. I resolve not to apologize for existing.
2. I resolve not to apologize to men (unless I have really done something wrong).
3. I will make a distinction between myself and my family.
4. I do not need to be married to be happy or dutiful.
5. I do not need children to be happy or dutiful.
6. I do not need a son to be happy or dutiful.
7. I will not avoid discussions about money.
8. I will not criticize other women so as to blame the victim of sexual harrassment or sexual assault. "She was wearing tight-tight jeans," "She is too mod."
9. I will support other women. Each one, teach one to be economically and emotionally self-sufficient.
10. I resolve not to betray my daughter into the arms of the patriarchy "for her own good."
11. I will evacuate any toxic environment that threatens my mental or physical safety.
12. I will take responsibility for my decisions and ask no one for pity.
13. I will not value a man based solely/primarily on his capacity as provider.
14. I will not cringe when stating that I make more than my husband.
15. I will not cringe at the thought of being the primary breadwinner of the family.
16. I will not sneer at men who are more sentimental than I am.
17. I will not push my son towards a stereotypical career any more than I do my daughter.
18. I will not die if my daughter chooses a mate who's in a "feminine" profession.
19. I will understand the pain of a man trapped in an unhappy career because he is compelled to be the sole provider for his family.
20. I WILL criticize the woman who cribs because her husband is not maintaining her in the style she would like to be maintained.
21. I will never use phrases like "Isn't he supposed to be a man" or "He isn't taking it like a man," or make comments about who wears the pants in the family.
22. I will accept that a man can be sexually harrassed by a woman.

-- Bisakha Sen & Shauna Singh Baldwin

Bisakha Sen is assistant professor of economics at U. Central Florida, doing research in labor economics. She is an aspiring Bengali feminist, and hopes to achieve the status of 'hell-raising Bengali feminist' in the not-too-distant future.
Shauna Singh Baldwin is an Indo-Canadian essayist, fiction writer, and radio producer who is working on her third book.

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